Suffering

Better beans and bacon in peace than cakes and ale in fear.

-Aesop

We’ve been without bacon for the last 24 hours. It’s been hard, but I’m happy to report that the meat delivery arrived and we’re again swimming in hog fat. It was scary for a while, but we made it through.

Still afraid of bacon?

Here’s some reasons you shouldn’t be:

1. Bacon is a great source of B1, 2, 3, 6, and 12, as well as zinc, riboflavin, and phosphorus, and a good source of magnesium and iron.

2. Nitrates and Nitrites are an idiotic non-issue. You have more of those in your own saliva than you could ever eat, and those “healthy” nitrate-free bacons are just injected with celery juice (because vegetables are our primary source of that stuff, not bacon or pepperoni) and end up with more nitrates/nitrites in the end.

3. The fat is the best thing about it. 50% of bacon’s fat is monounsaturated, mostly oleic acid…remember that one? That’s the miracle stuff everyone’s telling you to glug olive oil for. Lowers inflammation and blood pressure. Another 3% is palmitoleic, which is antimicrobial. 40% of the bacon is saturated, which is what your brain, nerve endings, immune system, and hormone production are dependent upon, and though it does raise your LDL a tiny bit, its main effect is to raise your HDL a great deal and improve your triglicerides to HDL ratio–which is the only thing about your cholesterol report that really means anything.

4. If you are fortunate enough to find bacon from pastured pigs, it’s stuffed full of vitamin D–one of the few dietary sources available to you of that vitamin in any quantity.

5. If you’re not eating grains, sugars and tons of fruit, you need plenty of salt. Bacon’s got you covered.

And don’t throw away the grease. It doesn’t go rancid easily and was a treasured cooking tool for our ancestors all the way up until Ancel Keys rigged his study to make it appear that his lipid hypothesis was true and made us all afraid to eat fat.

So eat your bacon in peace.

Plato says he’s hungry

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