Tag: sugar

Ask Fatty Felicity III

Back by popular demand, it’s Ask Fatty Felicity, the write-in column where you get to ask all your burning questions about Fat, Diet, and the Meaning of Life!

Let’s get right to today’s burning questions:

Dear Fatty Felicity,

I thought you were going to do a post on vegetarianism?

—Bernard Blackmantle

I thought I was too, Bernard, but then I got ill. I’m too tired to do all the research just now. But I’ll tell you what is very interesting: I want desperately to eat sugar. I don’t usually crave it, but since I started falling ill I suddenly can barely keep away from these chocolate-covered almonds I was given for Christmas.

What’s going on? Carbohydrates are super easy to digest and provide nearly instant energy. When you’re fighting something, your immune system is anxious for all the energy it can possibly get for what it quite rightly views as an emergency situation. It can’t really be bothered waiting around.

Of course, sugar is not what I need to be eating; but some bland starch is probably a good idea. Or possibly those nuts. Excuse me while I go get them.

Hi Fatty Felicity. What do you think about Veganuary?

-The Flying Dutchman

Well, Dutchman, if we were living in a dystopian YA novel, I would consider the concept of Veganuary to be an immature writer’s attempt to make the grimmest month of the twelve sound even more disheartening, for emotional manipulation and a cheap plot trick.

Spindle Tannercreek had heard that Christmas (or was it Xmas? Or perhaps Kwanza? It was very difficult to know about things when they happened so very long ago, and the names were muddled in her head) had once been a time of joy, laughter, feasting, and fellowship. Yet this was so long ago that none could remember; not even The Aged Ones who kept watch over the Function Swards from their Daremarks high above.

What must it have been like to know light and warmth in the frozen time? Since the rise of the The Benevolence there had been no break from labor in the Function Swards except the ones regularly scheduled once every fifteen days. The only exception was the Day of Celebration, when all were given an extra ration and time off to remember when The Benevolence had wrested power from the Lords Dyad and freed Pneumania from their oppression.

At least, this is what they had all been taught as children. There were a few who, in hushed, secretive whispers, spoke of the The Benevolence as oppressors and despots who had murdered the good Lords Dyad; but once again the event was so long ago that it was impossible for any living to say what was the truth of it.

In the darkness of the second moon of the frozen time, The Benevolence had made a food decree. They said it was a revelation of The Way and all must follow it. It was known as The Way of Veganuary, and it was the time that Spindle hated the most. At the best of times, those who labored in the Function Swards had precious little meat to eat; but during the whole of the second moon of the frozen time none could eat of the meat nor or the milk of the animals. This, The Benevolence decreed, was for their faith and patience, and for the good of all Pneumania.

If you’ve not heard, Veganuary is a “thing” primarily in the UK, though it is gaining speed here in the United States, as well. You simply give up all animal products–like meats, fats, and dairy–just as you’re feeling particular depressed by the end of the holiday season and the long dark of winter. If you’re British, this is especially jolly coming as it does during Dry January, when you’re also giving up all alcohol.

What a treat.

Diets low in fat, and particularly saturated fat such as animals tend to produce, are closely associated with depression. Now association isn’t causation, as we all ought to know by now, but there is a possible mechanism to explain this. Most of your hormonal production system relies on saturated fat. Deny your hormones the right building blocks, and your seasonal affective disorder is liable to get far worse.

Not to mention that meat is delicious and January is cold and dark.

Fatty Felicity, #metoo is all the rage, and some powerful Hollywood women are bravely standing up to systemic sexual harassment by donated enormous amounts of money that they’ve had for decades and wearing black to red carpet events to raise #awareness; and what I want to know is why Meryl Streep couldn’t be bothered to do that years ago?

-Grey Rhimes

Hard to say, ain’t it? The important thing now, though, is that we all celebrate the bravery of these wealthy and powerful Hollywood starlets standing against #Badthings now that it is the cause de jour and so perfectly safe to do so.

Speaking of bravery, the wealthy and powerful men of Hollywood–at least the ones who haven’t yet been caught–have announced they shall stand with the women against all #Badthings. In an act of reckless virtue signaling fearlessness, they too will be wearing black to all the toniest red carpet events this season.

Men wearing black tie and coat to formal black tie and coat events is sure to make an impression that sexual harassers and predators won’t soon forget.

Well, that’s all for today, folks! Join us next time to feast on the incisive wisdom of Fatty Felicity! If you have a burning question for Fatty Felicity, feel free to leave it in the comments.

 

Plato says he’s hungry

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Get the Ball Re-Rolling With An Easy One

Most people don’t know why they’re doing what they’re doing. They imitate others, go with the flow, and follow paths without making their own.

–Derek Sivers

Today, I have in my home five workmen drilling holes through various walls in an attempt to rig a fix to an enormous plumbing leak. The apartment I rent here in Asia was built along the usual model, which was obviously inspired by Ed Wynn’s part in Babes in Toyland:

The buildings here are lucky to last ten years without enormous, expensive problems. Partly this is because companies skimp on all the cheapest materials they can get (often used) and then run away with their money after selling off the apartments. The water pipes are a particular issue.

The water has been off for some days and now they’re here drilling holes through various walls to run pipes in different directions. They have the World’s Largest Drill, which about ten minutes in blew the fuse to the kitchen and bathroom. When it did, they reasoned the thing to do was to flip the breaker and do it again. And then again. And then, the next time, it blew that fuse and the one for the whole apartment.

That’s when I started yelling.

I turned my back for a moment after yelling, and the guy tried it again. In the end, I had to physically prevent them from plugging it in again and then throw them out of the house till they replaced the fuse on their drill.

You’re probably scratching your heads. You may even doubt my story (though my readers who have lived in this part of Asia are chuckling to themselves knowingly at this point). What’s the matter with these people?

The matter is that they have no idea how to reason. Not because they are stupid, but because they were raised and educated in a system that actively beat all independent thought and reasoning curiosity out of them from a young age.

But sadly, they’re not the only ones.

Back in August, a “dietician” wrote this article about her attempt to go without sugar for thirty days. It is a beautiful example of bad thinking, wild assumptions about health and diet, and parroting of ideas she clearly has been taught but does not fully understand. Let’s have a look at her opening line:

As a dietitian, I’ve heard of every crazy diet. No dairy, no carbs, no sugar, no tomatoes, no gluten, no fat—you name it, I’ve heard of it (and have probably rolled my eyes at it).

Often we have to read a bit to get to the insane stuff, but she helpfully lets the crazy right out in the first lines.

I wasn’t aware that sugar was an essential food group. Perhaps I could get concerned if someone is eliminating a whole food group from their diet unnecessarily; but how is sugar one of those? We think that sugar was first used by the Polynesians, who took it to India, where the Persians found it in 510BC and started growing it for profit. Prior to 510BC, nearly every human on the planet was eating a sugar-free diet, as our dietician defines it. Western Europeans didn’t get sugar till after 1000. It would be hundreds of years more before it entered the regular diet of average people worldwide.

The problem with these restrictive diets is they aren’t sustainable and often cause you to crave whatever you gave up.

This is the biggest cop-out objection to eating well that you’ll ever hear. It’s like telling a smoker not to bother trying to give up the cigarettes, because he’ll just crave them. He won’t be able to not smoke because everyone smokes, and also he’ll want to smoke real bad.

Our intrepid dietician decided to try giving up sugar for thirty days, primarily so she could blog about it for cash.

I honestly thought omitting added sugar for 30 days wouldn’t be all that difficult. First, added sugar refers to sugar that is added to a food, not sugar naturally found in fruits, vegetables, grains, or dairy.

Here we get her definition of sugar-free. It’s slightly concerning. Added sugar is usually glucose or fructose or some combination(is she aware of this?), which are all found in fruit and vegetables, yes. But is she aware that grains have no sugar; or at least not enough to matter? Does she realize that the sugar in dairy is different from table sugar and requires a different digestion process? I’m not confident. More importantly, since she says fruits, vegetables, grains, and dairy all have sugar: how on earth is cutting out added sugar only to be understood as a crazy, restrictive diet that eliminates whole food groups (as she will clearly state later).

Regardless of my lack of desire for sugar, I still add a bit of brown sugar to my oatmeal, enjoy a pre-workout granola bar, and top my spoonful of peanut butter with mini chocolate chips. But that’s the extent of my sugar habit, so I figured I would be fine. Reality hurts.

Ah yes, these are the habits of someone who doesn’t crave sugar.

I’m curious whether she realizes peanut butter has sugar. And in a few minutes (SPOILER ALERT) she’s going to admit to drinking sports drinks and eating Shot Bloks. Possibly she’s underestimating her regular sugar intake? Not counting, of course, fruit and vegetables and grain and dairy.

Day 1

While eating whole-wheat crackers with my super-healthy salad (feeling great about my food choices), I check out the crackers’ ingredients label. WTF? Cane sugar! Day 1=fail.

This woman’s supposed profession is telling people how to eat, and she didn’t know the basic ingredients in whole wheat crackers?

Day 2

My oatmeal definitely tastes a little bland without a scoop of brown sugar, so I head to the store and pick up some naturally sweet foods, such as dates, bananas, red grapes, and papaya. Problem solved.

Or so I thought… until lunchtime, when I add Sriracha to my rainbow grain bowl. Surprise—Sriracha has sugar. I guess I need to read EVERY single food label.

Yes, Natalie darling: you do. Again, do you seriously want us to believe you are a professional dietician, and yet you’ve never advised your clients to be careful of food labels? Clearly, yes, you clearly have no craving for sugar. Couldn’t get through oatmeal without some extra fruit.

May I point out that you are on your second day, and you still haven’t managed to not eat added sugar?

Then the poor thing went to run a marathon. Hopefully she’s in training for running from the zombie horde, because there’s nothing else good to be derived from endless running. We’ve mentioned it before, but the “marathon” derives its name from the Greek city of Marathon, which a man named Pheidippides is said to have run to from Athens–twenty-five miles–in order to announce an important Greek battle victory.

Then he keeled over and croaked.

So naturally, we celebrate his death all over the world with various running events of twenty six miles. Marathoners are seven times more likely to have sudden cardiac death while running than during normal life. They also get scarring on the heart. Most fun of all, when recent Hartford Marathon participants were tested, turned out 82% of them presented with Stage 1 Acute Kidney Injury. And that’s not to mention the joint issues, replacement knees, and even the getting hit by cars!

Fun!

Anyway, our friend Natalie couldn’t eat tons of added sugar to go running, as she usually does, so she had to resort to other sugar. But even then, she gave up and drank an enormous amount of sugar anyway.

In other words, my usual fueling plan is loaded with sugar because sugar (a.k.a. glucose) powers muscles during endurance activity. Luckily, another dietitian (and marathoner) told me to try dates, stuffed with peanut butter and sprinkled with sea salt, for the right mix of sugar and sodium. Although I don’t like to try anything new on race day, I make an exception and opt for the dates instead of the Shot Bloks. They worked pretty well. The only problem was I got an annoying cramp around mile seven that wouldn’t go away, so I gave in and reached for a sports drink.

Dear Natalie,

  1. Sugar is not glucose. Sugar is half glucose and half fructose. Glucose can power muscles, but it doesn’t have to. (See: me, twice a week at the gym, pressing 55 kilos or rowing 70. Also see: Me or The Roommate on all-day mountain climbs with friends. Before neither of these activities do we take an ounce of sugar. Nor during. Nor after.)
  2. Are you sure you’re a dietician?
  3. So you failed to keep to the diet today, too?

I feel for Natalie. We’ll return to her story tomorrow. Meanwhile, I have to go keep an eye on the drilling.

 

 

Plato says he’s hungry

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Bringing Good Cheer

Now grocer’s trade
Is in request,
For plums and spices
Of the best
Good cheer doth with
This month agree,
And dainty chaps
Must sweetned be.
Mirth and gladness
Doth abound,
And strong beer in
Each house is found.
Minc’d pies, roast beef
With other cheer
And feasting, doth
Conclude the year.

–”Poor Robin” 1677

As you head into Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day, and then New Year’s and all the attendant feasting, what kind of a plan do you have?

I can’t tell you what plan will work for you; I can only tell you what my plan is. Read it if you like; ignore it if you will; adopt parts for yourself and throw out what you don’t like. It’s up to you–just don’t go over the river and through the woods to Grandmother’s house with nothing more than a vague hope that you’d like to “eat well.”

To develop a good plan, you need to know the ground. It’s no good figuring out how to arrange the cavalry if you don’t even know in which direction the enemy is. In our case, the preliminary information we need is from our new, and better, understanding of reality.

Continue reading Bringing Good Cheer

Spooky Excuses

And oftentimes, excusing of a fault

Doth make the fault the worse by the excuse,–

As patches, set upon a little breach,

Discredit more in hiding of the fault

Than did the fault before it was so patched.

–Shakespeare, King John Act IV, SC 2

5073-illustration-of-a-jack-o-lantern-candy-holder-pv

Halloween is nearly upon us, and I think you all know what that means. It means enormous mounds of candy. It means sickly children who mysteriously get colds that won’t go away till sometime after New Year. It means gluttonous gorging on candy, all wrapped up in that flimsy excuse that everyone, from the President to the parent to your slimy local politician angling for higher taxes, knows how to use: For the children!

Continue reading Spooky Excuses

Let Thy Food Be Thy Medicine

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.
― Voltaire

I was going to write about salt today, but before I could sit down and do so, I found an interesting article. Two actually. One is from the New York Times, the other from the LATimes. We’ll start on the West Coast since that’s closer to me.

You’ll be thrilled, excited, and basically all-around adrenalized to see the headline: “FDA Approves a New Artificial Sweetener.” I know I’m beside myself.

Continue reading Let Thy Food Be Thy Medicine

Oh the Humanity!

Diet Coke with lemon…didn’t that used to be called Pledge? 

–Jay Leno

Not long ago I was at a friend’s house. My friends are pretty typical Americans. They have a large kitchen with two long counters, a normal American-sized fridge and freezer, above- and below-counter cabinets, and a pantry. Here’s what was in them:

Continue reading Oh the Humanity!

Reading For Fun and Profit

Literature is a textually transmitted disease, normally contracted in childhood.

― Jane Yolen

It’s not actually books I have to recommend to you today, but interesting news in the world of science and nutrition. I’ve been sick, you’ve been sick, we’re all busy. So when you have a few minutes to relax, have a look at these and see what analysis you come up with. I’ve given mine, naturally.

  • Ancient Greek athlete training diet. I found this particularly interesting, as modern trainers overwhelmingly assure us that it is “impossible” to be any kind of high-performance athlete without lots and lots and lots of carbohydrates. Apparently the Greeks didn’t think that at all and recommended abstaining from bread for six months prior to any serious competition. Interestingly, the Greeks also didn’t think it was normal for someone to be a sobbing, shaking, emotional mess by the end of a race, either: something we think perfectly normal.

Continue reading Reading For Fun and Profit

Stuff and Bother

It was the year my Aunt Clara went to visit her cousin. Now, her cousin was not only gifted on the glockenspiel, but being a screech owl, also sang soprano in the London Opera.

–Owl

The long silence has been due to illness. I got the flu and it was just too much to blog while living the rest of life. The main problem was not the illness per se, but all the pollution that greatly exacerbates the breathing difficulties of any illness that affects the respiratory system.

However other than having difficulty breathing, which is related to air quality, this illness was not nearly as bad as it used to be.

This is one of the benefits of living a life without refined flours and sugars: better health in general. You don’t get as sick as often, and generally when you do get sick it isn’t as debilitating or as lengthy. We all understand here that I’m talking about common illnesses, right? I can’t say what will happen if you go get malaria, tuberculosis, or polio.
Continue reading Stuff and Bother

What To Do With The Junk

Who is wise? He that learns from every one.
Who is powerful? He that governs his passions.
Who is rich? He that is content.
Who is that? Nobody.
–Benjamin Franklin

So you’re eating well. What on earth to do with that pantry full of staples? That big bottle of corn oil, the cola, the flour, the oats, the cornstarch, the sugar and brown sugar and corn syrup? Do you just throw them away?

Absolutely not! We’re nothing if not thrifty here at askmehowithappened.com, so here’s some things to do with that stuff besides poison yourself with it. Continue reading What To Do With The Junk